resistentialism

(noun) the apparently perverse or spiteful behaviour of inanimate objects

As he rushed down the stairs, Toby's shoelaces conspired to trip him up, unleashing a veritable orgy of resistentialism. His briefcase raced him down two flights, occasionally getting in a cheap shot at his head. Somewhere along the way it burst open and released a squadron of vengeful possessions. A squashed pen ruined his shirt. Car keys clawed at his face. He later found two staples in his thigh. His cellphone rocketed through the banister and smashed a flower vase below, drenching and shorting out the wall socket where his notebook was plugged in while charging and downloading email. The report he's been working on the whole weekend unbound itself, swarmed into the living room and tried to hide in every little cranny it could find. Some of the pages alighted in the puddle left by the broken vase. Nearly at the bottom, he met Mary, ascending with her mug of morning coffee and a slice of toast. The briefcase made a last desperate leap for the mug and his wallet went for the toast.